(I'd like have a hope that I'm doing another post on the 31st, but there's not a lot of hope for that. . .)
I suppose I should type-up an entry here. I don't actually want to, but one small "thing" in my head is bugging me to do this.
My Aunt Marion (My Mother's eldest sister) died on the 28th of November (the day before my Dad's birthday - that particular day was a "fun" day, let me tell you - even my Dad forgot his own birthday.). Well, since her funeral, (about 10 days after) I've not wanted to do much of anything besides sleep, eat and watch television. I know it's not enough to do (i.e. Go out, cook, clean, be sociable, shop. . .), but right now, it's what's going to happen. I've only been doing it for about 2 weeks, so it's not going to keep occuring for much longer, but I'm going to immerse myself as much as I can in this self-indulgant misery (just so I don't re-immerse myelf in it later. Trust me, that way lies madness and chaos). It will mostly finish on Boxing Day (since I'm going to an Aunt's party). Though at this stage, I don't want to go. I'm just so. . . .lethargic. . . .I have no "oomph". I mentally want to do things, but when it comes down to actually phyically doing them, I just say "screw it" and they don't happen.
There are a small amount of semi-significant things that I'm making myself do - Like making sure the garbage bins get put out on the relevant collection day - just to keep me "awake" (wrong word, correct intent). I don't want to do them. I don't actually know why I'm doing them, but I am.
Just like this typing. I've wanted to do an entry for about a month, and before the lethargy, I was a bit busy. After the lethargy started, I just couldn't make myself enter the website. I had the computer open in front of me, I had the time, but, I just couldn't do it. I would frequently sit, looking at the screen, waiting for the get-up-and-go to actually click on the web address. Nothing.
But on the other hand, I think I'm coming out of my "Funk". There are signs. You see, I knit a couple rows last night, then I read some of a book, and, I've been planning my Christmas dinner (Pasta and a salad - nothing fancy - I won't be eating a trad. dinner, and I don't really want to imitate it.).
I've also been thinking again about what present to get my Dad. That's a toughie. Always is - he's really hard to buy for (right now I think it'll be a new year's present, since it'd be madness to go out shopping NOW) - Ok, yes, I should have already bought it, but buying for him is not that simple. He has a tendency to go and buy for himself the things he wants, and I can't tell you the amount of times I've had to re-buy a present. *grr, sigh*. So, Present-buying tends to be either a "wow-that's-unusual-and-unique-but-he'll-think-it's-neat-so-I'd-better-buy-it-now" type of thing lots of time in advance (with me hoping all that time that he doesn't find another), or it's a "drat-that's-all-I-can-find-and-it's-not-good-enough" thing at the last minute. The funny thing is, is that he's not that bothered about presents. I have, unfortunately, had years I didn't get him a present and he honestly didn't mind. Made me feel bad, but I had sincerely tried to find one, and that really was all I could do. I have had some great present years, though (I'm not telling - since it would dent my happiness). But finding a gift or not, it's going to be a not-so-jolly-holiday-christmas this year. I'm a bit sad at that, but there is another one next year. Hopefully it'll be a very good one. *sigh*.
So. Since I am writing this, I am paying a bit more attention in small degrees to everything (a tiny bit more every day). Like right now - I'm typing this AND I'd like to take a shower (that's a really good thing right now, believe me!). . . .So I figure, at this rate, I'll be done with this "blah-ness" completely by Boxing day. I'm crossing my fingers. Whew.
So, I'll end this. I'm going to watch some pre-christmas TV to kill the time before sleep (and hopefully do some knitting).
Night.
